Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Hmm, where to start.. there are a few things that I can list. Such as:

I hate that I am TOO naive and trusting. I guess in a way, LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, I like to see the glass half full, rather than half empty. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt before I judge for MYSELF... I want to see the good in people because even though some people are SO BAD and sometimes TOO EVIL, I feel like they have good inside. I guess I search for it and sometimes come up short. Lol.

I also hate that I am so UNMOTIVATED. I WANT to do things but then get lazy or other things come up or I think I wont be good enough at them. Like my photography. I want to pursue it but I feel it wont be good enough. Singing, but I feel I wont be good enough. I need to work on this but I need more confidence in THOSE areas.

I also hate that I am SO forgetful. Lol. I am sorry to ALL of you who have dealt with it. I DONT ALWAYS forget things, but sometimes I am SO busy or thinking about SO MANY other things, that things slip my mind. I need vitamins or something to regain my memory! Damn you DIABETES. Lol. JK..

and lastly, me and a friend were talking the other day and YES, sometimes I feel like I am too defensive about things.. NOT on purpose but I guess in a way, growing up and being in certain relationships, I have had to be defensive, or justify LOTS of things in certain situations, and it comes naturally. I will work on it. Lol.

Til day 2. :)

<3

30 Days of Truth.. :)

I stole this from Cherice's blog and ALSO heard Marte talking about it. It seems like a good idea and to keep me SANE when I am BORED at work. :) For 30 days I have to follow this list and do everything it says.. I like to talk about myself so it should be easy.. Lol.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

I think I can do it. Hopefully.. Lol We shall see. <3

if you really knew me...

You'd know....

I LOVE Mocha Double Shots.
I wish I were skinnier and had a 6 pack. Lol
I love the color black more than any color but only wear it to look more slimming, but WHO doesnt?
I think about my dad all the time and wish I could call him just to say hi.
I cant live without my cell phone.
I love AND hate drama.
I am not as bad you think I am and I hate when people assume things about me without asking.
I am IN LOVE.
I love food but should probably not eat as much of it so I can get that 6 pack. Lol
I want to work out but I dont have motivation.
I want to start school but I dont have MOTIVATION.
I want more tattoos.
I love ALF. He is my furry soulmate.
I love photography and wish I was more creative.
I love clutter.
I love iCarly. I am a kid at heart.
Even though I didnt graduate high school, im not stupid.
Even though I dont have a valid drivers license, I can drive better than you. Lol
I want to be a famous singer but I dont have the balls to try out for American Idol or anything else that could help me in the future. :(
I am NOT a homewrecker even though a lot of people seem to think so.
My favorite smell of all time is laundry detergent.
I love HOT SHOWERS.
I love black nail polish more than any other color...go figure.
I love sleep and would rather spend a whole day in bed than go out and do anything.
I HATE the way Farrah from Teen Mom cries. Ugly.
I HATE to cry but sometimes it feels good and it helps me sleep.
I wish I wasnt Diabetic but then id weigh 400 pounds. Lol.
I wish that people didnt think that I forgot EVERYTHING, its just my mind is ALWAYS full. It's not an excuse, its the truth. I remember things.
I wish that people took me more seriously. I know im a joker but I CAN be serious.
I dont care what people think of me. IF you dont like me, your bad not mine.
I am thankful for the people that are in my life and they made it for a reason.
I love my family but sometimes they do annoy me. Its natural.
I LOVE Farley more than ANYONE cause he is ALWAYS here for me and is excited to see me whether its been 5 min, 5 hours, or 5 days. :)
I love the way Farley eats his food. Lol.

I was watching "IF you really knew me and it made me want to write a blog".. I know a lot of you know me but some of you dont. :)

Thats all for now.. :)

Me.

Thinks it's funny....

When girls who ASSUME things about me, write things on their FACEBOOK and then leave it up for 4 months... LOL. Comical. I can't get enough laughter out of girls who are OBSESSED with me.

Gotta LOVE it. :)

Happiness.

I guess for the first time in a while, I am happy again. I mean, I am ALWAYS happy but there are additions to my life that have put me in a place where I can breath. Not FULLY but I am getting there... Things are changing for the good and hopefully STAY that way. I have been reading other blogs, mostly about LOVE and I have come across a few pictures that I absolutely LOVE. Such as the post BEFORE this one. It sums up a few things for me. Lol. And this one...



It just seems like a perfect moment. The lighting is great and they look SO IN LOVE. It makes me inspired that there are real moments and love out there. :) I am hoping that this road I am taking, is the right one. Im gonna try it out and if things go awry, then at least I tried. :) Like I have said before.. In this moment, I am happy. :)

♥

Love.

That is all.

Life.

So, I haven't written in a while or blogged but my life is GREAT.

I moved in with ONLY Marte.
We are DEF having fun getting everything together and I am SO glad that she is my roomie. She also set EVERYTHING up, as in cable, electricity and all the MAIN essentials.. I couldnt have a BETTER BESTIE... So, Marte, I appreciate that. :) Lol. You are the BEST.

I am glad and THANKFUL I still have a job and I am making money. :)

In this moment I am HAPPY. :)

<3

Ill write more later.. :)