Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

WELLLLL, I am SURE you all know the answer... Yes. Mr. Ference. Lol.. BUT I think in a way, he has also taught me a lot about myself and how truely strong I can be. He has pushed, pulled, made my days hell, made my days great, but he is one of the VERY few people that I can count on when I really need him the most.. He gets me, he doesnt get me, he makes me cry, laugh, love, hate and scream but at the end of the day, I know who I want to be laying next to when I close my eyes.. And that would be him..

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Someone who has made my life worth living would be, my dad. I know he was crazy and I know he was out of it a lot more times than not, but after he passed, I realized life is pretty short and you never know what could happen... I knew this before but its just sad that he was 53 and didnt live to see 100. lol.. I want to..I miss him EVERYDAY and realize out of everyone in my family, I was the closest to him.. I just wish he was still here.. :)

<3

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

I sat and thought about this for a few minutes.. Pondering WHAT it is that I hope I never have to do, and the only thing that I could come up with was, I hope I never have to have surgery.. I get scared of going "under" ONLY because I am diabetic and with how I have taken care of my body these past few years I know I could have complications.. :( I also hope I never have to be on Kidney Dialysis. I couldnt stand being in the hospital EVERYDAY. Therefore, like I said in previous posts, I am working out and trying to remain healthy.. Wish me luck. :)

<3

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Become healthier.. I have managed to go 4 days without Soda OR fast food! I am on TRACK and I have been working out since Monday! It's only been less than a week but I feel better and I want to keep it up. :) Like I said, I am not trying to be SUPER DUPER skinny, (that takes time anyways), but I JUST want to live a healthy life and be good about my Diabetes.. well, somewhat.. Lol.

Ans also..

Become a good photographer.. I would say GREAT, but that takes time and A LOT of effort.. As we ALL know, I am less than motivated when it comes to doing things but I will eventually put my foot forward and do what I can. :)

<3

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

I forgive YOU for:

Cheating on me and making me hate you for a while because of all the shitty things you did to me and I had to go thru. I hope this time around you are different and I dont have to go thru it all over again. Prove me wrong because Ill never love ANYONE like I love you. I've tried and failed.

<3

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I forgive myself for not taking better care of my body after realizing I was Diabetic... however, I am trying to take the high road and REALLY stay motivated to lose weight and just become healthier even if im not the skinniest or the fittest. I just want to feel better and not so lazy.. :) I also forgive myself for thinking I never said I love you enough. There are days where I want to call you and just say hi, but I know I cant because you arent here anymore. I know that you KNEW I loved you regardless of how many times I said it... I just wish I had spent more time with you that last night at home. I love you Dad. :)

<3

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

I love how I would do ANYTHING for family and friends WHEN needed... I also love how FUNNY I am and at times SUPER WITTY... I love how I can be so boyish ONE day and then look GLAMOUROUS the next. I love how I have gotten MUCH more confident as I have gotten older and learned that being a LITTLE slutty is STILL ok and probably will be til Im about 40.. Lol. I love how I love HARD and PASSIONATELY and I will fight to get what I want. I love that I believe in Happily Ever After and I want it SO BAD. I just know there are tough times I have to get thru to get there but I am willing to do whatever it takes.

Til Day 3.

<3

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Hmm, where to start.. there are a few things that I can list. Such as:

I hate that I am TOO naive and trusting. I guess in a way, LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, I like to see the glass half full, rather than half empty. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt before I judge for MYSELF... I want to see the good in people because even though some people are SO BAD and sometimes TOO EVIL, I feel like they have good inside. I guess I search for it and sometimes come up short. Lol.

I also hate that I am so UNMOTIVATED. I WANT to do things but then get lazy or other things come up or I think I wont be good enough at them. Like my photography. I want to pursue it but I feel it wont be good enough. Singing, but I feel I wont be good enough. I need to work on this but I need more confidence in THOSE areas.

I also hate that I am SO forgetful. Lol. I am sorry to ALL of you who have dealt with it. I DONT ALWAYS forget things, but sometimes I am SO busy or thinking about SO MANY other things, that things slip my mind. I need vitamins or something to regain my memory! Damn you DIABETES. Lol. JK..

and lastly, me and a friend were talking the other day and YES, sometimes I feel like I am too defensive about things.. NOT on purpose but I guess in a way, growing up and being in certain relationships, I have had to be defensive, or justify LOTS of things in certain situations, and it comes naturally. I will work on it. Lol.

Til day 2. :)

<3

30 Days of Truth.. :)

I stole this from Cherice's blog and ALSO heard Marte talking about it. It seems like a good idea and to keep me SANE when I am BORED at work. :) For 30 days I have to follow this list and do everything it says.. I like to talk about myself so it should be easy.. Lol.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

I think I can do it. Hopefully.. Lol We shall see. <3