For Thanksgiving....

I want to write ANOTHER Gratitude list..

The Holidays are here and they are the first ones without my dad. We ALL miss him and it's hard to imagine when we all sit down to eat our Thanksgiving dinner, he wont be there stuffing his face with PIE, even before the BIG MEAL gets set up. I know it will be VERY tough on my mom along with the rest of the family, near or far. I just hope everyone is open to talk about him and share memories even if it's hard. I know I want to and I will. :)

I was just sitting at work and I wanted to tell everyone what I am THANKFUL for this year even though it's been a VERY rough year for me and others in the world, AND we should ALL hate 2009! I am sure most of you do but here it goes anyways....

This YEAR I am thanksful for:

*My family.


I love my brother, Travis, his wife, Amanda and ESPECIALLY my mom, Marilyn. Since everything has happened I feel like we have all became a BIT closer and tried as hard as we could to make things a bit happier around the house. I appreciate them ALL, whether there is fighting, hard times, rough times, and great times. They help me in their own little ways. :) RIP Daddy. :(

*Love
*Life
*Laughing
*Sleep
*The money that I HAVE made at my new job
*Nail Polish
*Mascara
*My clouded thoughts at times, they help me think.
*Good choices and Bad choices, they have made me who I am today.
*My journal. It helps, believe me.
*Pictures, like I have said, they help me remember.
*My cell phone and TEXTING.. I am ALWAYS texting!

*MY BFF Marte. (and her ability to shoot GREAT photos..Lol).. I am joking. :)





We have had CRAZY, wild, and AMAZING nights out. Even if it was INSIDE one of our houses with drunk bitches and chicken dip, going out, at a pool, bar hopping, or New Years with CRAZY MEN, Lol, she has ALWAYS been and will ALWAYS be the greatest friend I have ever had. She doesnt judge me when I do something irresponsible. She is ALWAYS by my side. Ready to get in trouble, stay OUT of trouble or beat girls up and take their cameras. Lol. I am thankful that I met her and got to know her as well as I do. I love her for her personality, her long, flowing Martaylor Kardashian hair, lol, and her amount of confidence, love, and respect she has in herself and finds in others. She has given bad, good, and GREAT advice to me and I took it however I could at the time. She has helped me through GREAT times and the WORST times of my life. She has been the shoulder for me to cry on and the ear to listen to ALL my problems when I had an UNFAIR amount, at one point in my life...and believe me it was ROUGH.. I am thankful for her and her CUNT-ISH ways and always will be. Lol. :) Martitty I love you. (CC) FO' LIFE. Lol.

*Insulin
*Alcohol, lol, sometimes I like to forget things, but then take it too far...and in that case:
*Hospitals
*Paramedics

*My dog Farley.


He helps me remember that life should be a bit more happier. He is always wagging his tail and stuffing his face. We should learn more from how our animals act. :)

*Thanksgiving and all the food that it brings.
*Chapstick
*Love letters
*My past, it helped me become who I am today.
*Books. I LOVE to read
*Cooking classes, (Kerry?)...Lol
*Bubble wrap..I think its FUN!
*Coffee, because it helps me stay awake to write this stuff... Lol.
*Spongebob, cause he ALSO helps me stay awake.
*ALLLLL of my friends. You know who you are. You know what each one of you bring to the table in our friendship and I love you all.
*The moment I open my eyes from a long night/morning of sleep. I know that I made it to another day.
*Food
*Diet coke
*WATER! WATER! WATER!
*The gym, even though I NEVER go, but I will try and make it a point to start.
*Subway, cause sometimes its better to eat fresh.
*Sushi. Yum.
*Softbaked cookies.
*The smell of Pumpkin Pie in the oven.
*Breathing
*Sunshine
*etc, etc, etc.....

I could go on and on.. I am thankful for a lot and my list may start to BORE you, OR make you smile. I think I have made a point. Lol.

Thank you all for reading and being a part of my life. I appreciate you.

I wonder......

what you would have looked like.

It's a lot tougher than I thought.

<3

Well, I felt like writing a BLOG and I am not sure why... right now at 5:06am? I can tell you this much, I am wide awake from the coffee I INHALED and the Bagel Bites that filled me up. I have SO many thoughts running through my head ALL the time that I never know where to begin with these things.... so I have a journal that I write ANY thought I am having, down. ANY thought... for example. How I am cold. How I feel about people, how I miss my dad... and so on and so forth... It's for me and it helps. If I want to go back and read ANYTHING that I was thinking about on a particular day, I can. There are other things in there that are personal, but I can't always write EVERYTHING I feel in here. People may be upset. Lol.

I was going through some pictures the other day and I came across the photo that I JUST took of Farley. He JUST turned 5 in Sept and his age is showing. I hope he is around for a LONG time. I DO NOT think that I will be able to handle him NOT being here but when that day comes, Ill deal.. take a week off work and cry myself to sleep EVERY NIGHT. Lol.. Anyways, here it is:



Here is another favorite of mine:


You may have seen these on my Myspace or Facebook but I wanted to share them with those of you who I don't know. :)

XOXO
Mags

Thanks for the thought...<3

My Gratitude List.

-My 8 hours alone at work on GRAVE. Sometimes you never get enough alone time.

-My FACEBOOK. It lets me know I have friends. Ha ha.

-Photos in my hat box. It helps me remember.

-Thoughts of my dad. I miss him more each day. As I was looking thru my hat box I found more photos of him that I am going to eventually hang up in frames. I remember.

-My bed. Oh how I wouldnt be able to sleep without it.

-Farley. He is my love even though he smells like DEATH.

-Driving time. Sometimes I like to practice my singing when I drive and no ones in the car with me. I want to be a singer but I don't have the guts.

-Life. Enough said.

-YOU. Because you make my life happy and simple. <3

-Rain. Because I love to kiss in it.

-My mom. She is the rock for all of us and she tries to always make things better before they are worse.

-My friends. Close or not. You still have an impact on my life and you all fit into my life puzzle somehow.

-Ice cream. DAMN YOU Ice Cream!

<3

We will be VICTORRRRIOUS....

I have been jammin out to Muse lately while at work. It could be because I bring up my Myspace and thats the song on my profile, as well as the first song on my Facebook Ipod music thingy... Lol. I like the song Uprising by them right now. It's a good one. Some of their old shit I don't like but this new song makes me want to buy their new album. We will see if in the next few weeks I give in and buy it.

Well, I am tired. I have been working a lot of graves lately and I don't mind, I just need to get into the habit of sleeping during the day a bit. I got SOME sleep today....about 5 hours or so and then woke up to come to work from midnight to 8am. It's quiet here and there and sometimes I get freaked out being here all alone but I have Facebook, Myspace, HULU and of course aolradio, WHEN I remember to put it on, otherwise like I said, I jam out to Muse. Not a lot has been going on with me. I am working, hanging out, and living life. I know a lot of you know about the whole camera situation at hand. If you don't please read this link:

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local-beat/Stranger-Returns-Missing-Camera-68733157.html

Now they said, the DAY after this aired that they were going to be putting it on The Today Show. OBVIOUSLY that never happened or I would have attached that link too. Lol. The camerman from The Today Show came over, interviewed me and told me to watch between 7am and 9am. At about 7:30am MY time and 10:30am, Eastern time, my friend Nolan that lives in CT, text me and told me he had been watching for about 3 hours and he saw NOTHING about the camera story. So, I call Shannon, the DETECTIVE, Lol, and she got a hold of someone else that EVENTUALLY told us after an hour of going back and forth, that they didnt know when it was going to air. SO, I will keep you ALL informed. :)

Other than that, there is pretty much nothing too exciting happening with me. My life is simple. Easy. I am finally breathing more and learning to just take it one day at a time. :)

I hope everyone else is doing ok and if I have anything else exciting to write about, I will.

Hollllllllller.
<3