So, here I sit. Unemployed, missing my dad and wishing my life was not so fucked up. I know I don't have it as bad as a lot of people so I am not complaining, just needing to vent.
In 2 months, I have lost:
A baby.
My dad.
My job.
How I have coped and stayed SANE thrpugh all of this, I have no idea. I guess I have had the best family and the greatest friends to keep me going. I wake up around 9:30am, or later everyday, eat breakfast and then watch movies OR if my mom wants me to, I go with her to run errands. I have not minded relaxing these past few days and I plan on looking for a new job soon. I am just NOT in a rush. After everything I have been through this is the little vaykay that I need. I need to mentally prepare myself for the future that lies ahead, WHATEVER that may be.
I thought about traveling in my lame Ford Focus, taking pictures and selling them around the U.S. but I have NO MONEY, bills to help with around the house, AND my car is NOT registered.. I thought about moving to another state to get away from EVERYTHING and change my life and future but then I thought about how I have NO MONEY, bills to help with around the house, AND my car is NOT REGISTERED.. LOL.. Also, I would be leaving my friends and family who I love and care about and need me more than anything right now. So, both plans are NOT going to go happen. I guess in a way I am trying to run away from a few things weighing on my mind and I don't think it's the right answer. So, here I will stay and here I will be until I decide to leave. Anyone wanna move with me? Say in about, 2 or 3 years? LOL.
I am thankful for everything good that I have been blessed with and all the GOOD things that have happened to me. I can't say that I am one of those people that always thinks negative, when NO MATTER WHAT, I think of the glass half full, instead of half empty. I love my life regardless of all the stress, pain, and bad things I endure because it makes me a stronger person and it makes me appreciate life more. SO, I needed a quick vent and BELIEVE ME, I shall be back in a while to vent some more.
Thanks for listening. :)
my lease is only a year... start saving up! lets move away and start over! :)
ReplyDeleteAW, I'm glad you vented. You probably need that , too. As well as this "time off" whether is was planned or not... everything happens for a reason! :) Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteLets go live in the mountains with a bottle of patron...and NO HEAT!! yeaaaah!!!!!