Vampire.Crazy.Life.

day 3 — your parents

2010-11-22T18:14:00.000-08:00

Dearest Madre,

Where can I begin to tell everyone how amazing you are? Thru my childhood, we werent always the richest, we werent always in one place for a long time, we didnt always have the nicest things and we werent always 100% happy, but you did ALL you could for me and Travis when times were tough. You made sure we had food on the table, clothes on our back, a car to get back and forth from point A to point B with, and you made sure to let us know HOW MUCH you loved us.. Dad had a gambling problem, a drug problem and wasnt always the smartest when it came to family but there were times when we were all HAPPY for a moment and those are some of the best times I remember. We struggled more than a lot of my friends' families but when I was smaller I thought it was normal. To me, I thought it was fine b/c I had you, dad and Travis, and of course my FAVE Cabbage Patch doll Maggie Delta... Lol As I grew up, I realized that some of these problems we had werent ok BUT I promised myself that when I had kids, I was going to try and be like you and make them HAPPY no matter what kind of sitation I was in. Times are hard and I know you did the best you could and thats ALL that matters.

After dad passed, I thought we were all going to lose it. I missed him SO much and I didnt think we would be ok for a while.. I thought that you may have a nervous break down or have a broken heart forever, but you have showed how tough you are in front of us all and have carried us more than you know. You have helped me realize that even though someone so IMPORTANT can be gone in an instance, you can still love life and go on. You still do EVERYTHING you can for me, Travis, Amamnda, Dave and SOON TO BE HERE, Noah and you still stay strong even though I know it's probably tough without dad around. You were with him for 31 yrs and I cant imagine losing someone that I was SO in tune with and SO in love with for THAT long... Its still hard for me to be COMPLETELY ok even after a 2 yr on and off relationship that I had, (I am better but you cant help who you love I guess right?). You and dad had your CRAZY IN LOVE stages when you were younger and even when you were older. You fought, he always drove you crazy, and you wanted to KILL him sometimes, but you loved him UNCONDTIONALLY, you have loved ALL of us uncondtionally. You put up with a lot from us and somehow you were pretty much the ONLY one that stayed SEMI sane in the house. Lol. 5 dogs, 8 cats, and 5 people later, you still are the strongest woman I know and I love you for how you have dealt with SO much for SO long. :) You are the best mom anyone could have b/c no matter what ALL you have done with your life is love others.. I love you mom.

<3

day 2 — your crush

2010-11-21T17:06:00.000-08:00

Dearest Jake, aka the LOVE of my life, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Lol.

I think I began this obsession with you when you were in Bubble Boy and from then on it was ALL downhill for me.. I cannot get enough of your face or your talent. My ALL time favorite movie that you have done SO FAR, is Jarhead.. I dont know if its because you were so GOD DAMN BUFF and HOT, or because you actually did a great job playing a Marine. I also loved you in The Good Girl. You were sweet, sensitive, and kind.. You wrote love letters to Jennifer Aniston but then in the end, since you couldnt be with her, you killed yourself because you loved her SO MUCH and couldnt be without her. Not a smart move. Ive been here the whole time. You should have just MOVED to Vegas and I WOULD HAVE TOTALLY been with you. I had a douchebag of a boyfriend i would have left for you in a heartbeat! Lol.. That would have been the PERFECT ending.

If you ever DO find yourself in Las Vegas and you decide Taylor Swift is too much of a BORING, twangy, red neck, country girl for you, give me a holllllller.. LOVE always, your #1 fan, Maggie. :)

P.S. I can't wait for Love and Other Drugs.. :)

day 1 — your best friend

2010-11-20T12:38:00.000-08:00

Marte!
I THOUGHT this was going to be simple but there are SO MANY things I can say about you, that I dont know if ill have enough time or SPACE! :)

How can I breath with NO AIR? You are like AIR to me. The Peanut Butter to my Jelly, (well sugarfree jelly), the cheese to my crackers, the Mario Lopez to my ABDC, (Did he just say we Da Man-aze?), and the 16 to my pregnant. Lol.

No really where do I start.. Horizon. BEST school EVER! Only b/c it brought us together, otherwise, id say that school is NOT so good.. Lol. Anyways, back to you. (Its obvious we both have A.D.D.)..

Youre beautiful in everyway. I love how LOVING and caring you are. How SMART you are. How you give me advice on certain guys because you know someone JUST like them and youve been dealing with it longer.. I love that we finish each others sentences because we are SO ALIKE its SCARY! "Smithsonian!"... WTF?!

Like you said in your letter to me, we are DEF SOULMATES and you are DEF my other half! You are like the sister I never had, (nor did I want one), but I am glad you came into my life. You have been there for me when I was at my lowest and when I thought life could get NO WORSE.. You have been there with me thru thick and thin and I appreciate you more than you know.. :) You make me smile and laugh when I am sad and you and I NEVER fight which I LOVE... I am SO glad I get to call you my BEST FRIEND everyday and I cant wait to grow old with you and make SO many more memories.. Random road trips and making MANY more mistakes are DEF in the near future now that we are BOTH single!.. I love you A LOT and I am happy that we have each other when times are easy, hard, when boys break our hearts and need MEN to pick up the pieces, when they love us too much and when they become obsessed with us and we have to either CHANGE our phone numbers OR MOVE! Lol. You are amazing in everyway and I hope that everyone sees it as much as I do.. :)

P.S. Sorry about Farley peeing everywhere. Lol. im gonna make him wear a diaper from now on.

LOVE,
your hottest bestest friend EVER! :)

New 30 Day Challenge.. :)

2010-10-31T10:39:00.001-07:00

I stole this from Marte and can't wait to start it.. :) The goal is to write a letter to each one of these people as your blog of the day.
I sit at work and have little to do sometimes so I am ready to take this on.. :) It'll be easy, hard, fun, MAY make me cry, but I can do it.. AND I hope you all enjoy it and maybe do it too.. :)

day 1 — your best friend
day 2 — your crush
day 3 — your parents
day 4 — your sibling (or closest relative)
day 5 — your dreams
day 6 — a stranger
day 7 — your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
day 8 — your favorite internet friend
day 9 — someone you wish you could meet
day 10 — someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
day 11 — a deceased person you wish you could talk to
day 12 — the person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
day 13 — someone you wish could forgive you
day 14 — someone you’ve drifted away from
day 15 — the person you miss the most
day 16 — someone that’s not in your state/country
day 17 — someone from your childhood
day 18 — the person that you wish you could be
day 19 — someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
day 20 — the one that broke your heart the hardest
day 21 — someone you judged by their first impression
day 22 — someone you want to give a second chance to
day 23 — the last person you kissed
day 24 — the person that gave you your favorite memory
day 25 — the person you know that is going through the worst of times
day 26 — the last person you made a pinky promise to
day 27 — the friendliest person you knew for only one day
day 28 — someone that changed your life
day 29 — the person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
day 30 — your reflection in the mirror

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

2010-10-29T20:06:00.000-07:00

I decided to do 2 days in one b/c I do what I want. Lol

Dear Maggie,

You are an amazing woman with SO MANY qualities. You deserve the MOST out of life and sometimes you settle for less than what you THINK you deserve. I love your personality, your eyes and how nice and kind you can be at times, unless someone fucks you over, then the bitchy side comes out. BUT I love that about you too. I love that you have gotten more of a backbone over the past few years and stopped letting everyone walk all over you. I love that you would do ANYTHING for your friends and family at the drop of a hat. I love that you are funny, witty and almost everyone you cross paths with thinks you are wonderful and have such a great outlook on life. I love that you always look at the glass half full instead of half empty and you make the BEST out of ANY situation... You have made MANY mistakes which I KNOW you are TRULY sorry for and wish that you wouldnt have made, but thats life. You lived and you learned from ALL of those things. The only thing I DONT LOVE about you, is that you are VERY irresponsible when it comes to your health. I would LOVE to see you stick to the gym, eat better, and be happier in life. Don't let people that mean NOTHING, get you down. They obviously werent worth your time or tears and dont care about anyone but themselves. I love that you can be strong, but weak. I think we ALL have that flaw at times. I just want you to keep your head up and understand that sometimes life is rough and you will have the BEST days and the WORSE days but if you wake up each day and JUST smile, you will get thru ANYTHING. You are a GREAT person inside and out and all your close friends and family know that.. Dont let ANYONE let you ever doubt that. :)

Love,
Me

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

2010-10-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

One thing I HOPE to change about myself, is how easily I fall for people and how NAIVE I can be. I need to be better about that. I let myself and all my feelings get too involved with things and people and I need to be better about it. :)

<3

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

2010-10-28T19:33:00.000-07:00

Well, if I were pregnant, I would keep it. :) Well, depending on whos it was.. Lol. If I GOT someone pregnant, id wonder how that happened seeing as I DONT have a penis? That'd be weird.

<3

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

2010-10-27T11:52:00.000-07:00

Id have to say the BEST thing going for me right now.. is LIFE. I am breathing. I get to spend many more days with friends, family and people that make me smile. I think my attitude about life is a lot better and a lot more clear. I may not be putting everything I NEED to do in effect but it'll happen sooner than later. :)

<3

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

2010-10-22T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hasnt EVERYONE?! Maybe not in the sense to KILL themselves but just say FUCK IT and not want to do ANYTHING but lay in bed? Lol.
I havent ever thought about taking my life. I LOVE life too much. I MAY have hard times, stress and bullshit here and there, but NEVER enough to end it. PLUS, id be too scared to do it AND I know EVERYONE would miss me WAY TOO MUCH! Duh! Lol.

<3

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

2010-10-21T18:50:00.001-07:00

Hmm.. THIS is a good question. Seeing as I ALMOST died at the beginning of September by being dumb and not taking care of myself properly, im not sure WHY I believe I am still alive.. Lol. Maybe its because GOD wanted me to know that I am stronger than I think that I am. Myabe he wants to show me that I need to start LIVING IT UP instead of living it down and being stressed out about the little things. Appreciate life. Friends. Lovers. NOT make bad choices and show everyone that I can be a better person than I HAVE been in these past few months.. OR maybe he wants to torture me. Lol. I am not QUITE sure. Either way, I have been doing good. Going to the gym when I can and taking it easy. I havent been EATING THAT much better but I DO watch myself as much as possible. :) I am hoping to live to be 100 or so. Lol. I hope I reach that goal.

<3

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

2010-10-21T18:49:00.001-07:00

I would do this but there are TOO many songs, too many people and not enough time to write this. I cant choose ONE person with 14 million songs of WHY it reminds me of them. Lol.

<3

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

2010-10-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

I have a few.

-graduated HS.
-went to college for photography.
-spent more time with my dad before he died.
-made better choices about things I regret NOW.

I am sure if I think about it, there are a few more. :)

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

2010-10-14T11:34:00.000-07:00

Hmmm.. there are a few things that stick out in my mind.. Im gonna plead the 5th on this one.. All of you close to me know what they are.. :)

<3

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

2010-10-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

Well, does she die? Lol Either way, id be right by her side. DUH! I dont care how little or big a fight was with her.. Id be right there until she was perfectly ok.. :) I love my BFF MARTE! If I was right or wrong i'd apologize and we would going back to being ok.. Even if we did fight, (which is rare, i dont even know if weve had a fight? Lol), we will always be BEST friends.. :) I love that bitch.

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

2010-10-11T09:51:00.000-07:00

Where do I start?

Drugs. I dont judge people that DO drugs. I JUST DONT do them. My dad passed away from them and seeing him use them SO often while I was growing up, I decided against doing HARDCORE drugs. I have smoked weed at parties or hangin out with friends, but I would NEVER do drugs that could possibly kill me the first time I use them. To each their own. If you can handle yourself and not become addicted, more power to you. I have an addictive personality so I may be in trouble if I start. Lol.

Alcohol. I drink. End of story. Lol.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

2010-10-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

I think they are both BULLSHIT.

I could go on and on, but I dont want to offend ANYONE.

So, if you know me, you know how I feel. There will NEVER be a perfect Religion OR President. There will ALWAYS be 2 sides to everything. :)

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

2010-10-04T18:20:00.000-07:00

I say LET them get married! I have SO many gay friends that have been thru hard times, growing up and coming out.. If they want to love and BE LOVED, and share their last name with someone LET THEM! I am sure they would take marriage A LOT more serious than most straight people.. Honestly.. Look at Brit Brit and her man Jason.. How many times has Liza Manelli (Sp?) been married? If the gays wanna be as MISERABLE as the straights, let them... It wont ruin your day and I AM SURE you will carry on about your business as the rest of us do! Thank GOD it's legalized NOW! Take that REPUBLICANS! Fuckers. Lol

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something

2010-09-29T09:19:00.000-07:00

Well, im gonna be honest, ive read A LOT of books.. Ive even wrote blogs about the ones I read.. so IF you are that interested go back a few months on my blogger and read all about them and how they helped me at those specific times.. Only one really stands out in my mind, and that was The Way of The Warrior.. it had a lot of good positive things and you should all read it. :) I creased pages, wrote notes and wrote a blog about it.. It was that good to me.. It helped me out at the time that I was reading it so please take the time and read it as well.. :)

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

2010-09-28T08:23:00.000-07:00

DEF LOVE..not forever. Just right now. it's just time for me to focus on me and not let some DUMB, immature little boy bring me down anymore than he did. I can DEF do without the stress, worrying, and being second best. Ill find that right guy someday and he will love me for all my good and all my bad. :) Ill find the one that no matter HOW crazy life gets, he'll stick around cause thats what MEN do. Not boys. SO yes, I can and WILL do without love for a while.. Im working on me now and getting back to 100% Happy Maggie.. :)

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

2010-09-26T18:14:00.000-07:00

Well, Ive never TRIED living without it, but INSULIN DUH! Lol.. I HAVE to have it.. especially after my little episode 2 weeks ago!

Also, ive tried to live without Farley. (Well, I had to for a while before he was fixed and I was living with Cherice).. He makes me smile because he is FAT as hell, is ALWAYS excited when he sees me and HAS to sleep under the covers on my legs or right next to my chest EVERYNIGHT. :) He is my heart. As gay as that sounds. Lol.

AND I COULDNT live without:
Diet Soda
Taco Bell
Ice Cream
Burger King Breakfast
Chapstick
Lotion
and any other goodness that makes me smile.

I love life and I am getting happier by the day.. :)

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

2010-09-20T22:15:00.000-07:00

I honestly dont have a hero that let me down.. I cant think of one.. IF i do, ill edit this post and let you know.. Lol

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

2010-09-19T23:03:00.000-07:00

Dear The Spill Canvas and Christina Aguilera,

You have helped me thru the toughest and non toughest times in my life.. Thru break ups, to good days, to sad days, to lonely days, your words are like wisdom and I love listening to you on FULL blast in my car.. Belting out notes I can barely hit and crying sometimes while I try.. Lol. SO thak you. I will continue to listen, buy your albums and have you on repeat in my cd player or ipod until I feel better or pull into my garage.. :)

Love your BIGGEST FAN,

Maggie

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

2010-09-18T11:17:00.000-07:00

I guess this would have to be, my photography.. I seem to think that most of my pictures are pretty good and sometimes I feel no one says it enough.. MAYBE thats why I havent been too keen on going around and taking pictures? Maybe thats what holds me back.. not that I DEF have to get compliments and outrageous comments on my pictures but it helps.. ya know? Lol.. I dont know.. one of these days ill get my act together.. :)

Insomnia..

2010-09-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

its getting the best of me. It's 9am and I havent had 2 full hours of sleep in a few days. I can barely sleep since I got sick and ended up in the hospital. I almost DIED on Friday for those of you who dont know. I didnt realize how serious it was until the doctor told me that if I would have waited an hr or two more to come in, they probably wouldnt have been able to save me. I had a tube down my throat and wasnt breathing on my own.. Thats scary as hell and has made me rethink life and EXACTLY what I want to do with it.. It also has me sitting here pondering WTF I HAD been doing with my life for the past 27 yrs and WHO I WANT/NEED/LOVE in my life. Sitting in the dark or laying in bed while the TV projects nonsense and stupidity into my brain has made me lie awake and think of my next few steps I NEED/SHOULD take. Im still going over those steps and when I find out what they are, ill let you know. Lol.

My throat is feeling a bit better each day and its easier for me to eat more solid foods now. Cherice brought me over some throat spray and it has helped A LOT.. Thank god I have good friends to help me out when I need them most. Im having a hard time dealing with things lately so they have been pulling me thru slowly but surely.. I missed my phone interview with unemployment on Friday because, well I was dying, and so I dont know where my next income is coming from. I have no job, my car insurance is due, my car payment, my cell phone and ALL my bills. Im stressed but I try not to project it and be as happy as I can.. I know ill figure something out but I need a plan of action and sooner than later..

I also still feel like im missing something in my life and as much as I want to let go of it, its hard. I am going to push thru everyday and see what life has to offer but sometimes its tough to go thru this stuff alone.. Not friends wise but ALONE, alone..

I lay in bed wishing I were laying somewhere else. Laughing. Being loved and being appreciated for the person I am, for the person he USED to love.. I know ill find it but right now it doesnt seem right without that person that I love. It doesnt seem right that him and I arent together.. it feels weird. Like he is on vacation and will be coming home soon to me... Like all this nonsense we are going thru is just a phase that people who truly love each other go thru right before they get SUPER serious and get married, have babies, and start living their life together.. I know I may sound crazy but I guess laying in a hospital bed and then at home staring at the ceiling, has gotten me thinking crazy things. Maybe in the long run its a good thing for us both but for me it doesnt feel right and doesnt feel like it ever will be.. Like I have said in previous posts, I feel like I lost my best friend sometimes. He was the one person I could tell anything to, be myself around and he would still love me. No matter how crazy, tough, and insane things got.. He was IT for me and then he turned my world completely upside down.. I just feel lost. Like I need to find ME and figure myself out. I know it'll take some time and I should get used to being without someone that made me feel whole at one time, but right now its hard. Everything reminds me of him. Plus I have had the shittiest few weeks and us breaking up didnt help. I wish he could see how sorry I am for everything and we could just work thru it. I just know that wont be the case ANYTIME soon.

I am HAPPY that I am alive however and I am really sorry to everyone I scared the shit out of. I scared the shit out of myself. Especially my mom.. Its been a rough year for her so I especially need to be safe and sane for her sake. I will take a lot better care of myself for ME and everyone who actually cares and will continue to care and love me until, well its my time.. Lol. I guess God has bigger plans for me and I didnt know it. I guess there is a purpose for me in this world afterall. I just need to find it.

I know im going on and on but I feel like I have so much more to say but cant say it. Or I dont want to because it puts me in this vulnerable state. I dont like to feel like that but sometimes its easier said than done. I just feel like I need to vent about everything with one LONG GOOD CRY, but as of now, it hurts to cry. My throat feels better but its not in the mood for my "emtional" problems. Lol. Its painful so I suck it up and let life be. I have SO many things to say to Louis but its pointless, he is shut off and doesnt care anymore..I have so many things to wonder about, like my beliefs in God all of a sudden.. All of you who know me, KNOW I dont do church or believe in a higher power but for some reason after EVERYTHING I have been thru and God didnt cut me off from life, it makes me wonder. I am tired f being locked up inside and feel like sometime today or tomorrow would be a good day to do something different and NOT be locked up thinking about all the bad and good that has went on these recent weeks..

Ill figure it out.. :)

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

2010-09-09T15:51:00.000-07:00

My eyes. :) Everyone always tells me how blue and beautiful they are.. I think its my best assett most def.. :)

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

2010-09-08T22:30:00.000-07:00

Well, even though I LOVE him to death, I need to let go of Louis.. I am GLAD we met and I would never say I wish I didnt know him, but things have been crazy and way too dofficult lately. I wanted things to work out SO BAD that I tried to ignore ALL our problems. All the things we've been thru and ALL the things that hurt our relationship before. I will NEVER say he is a HORRIBLE guy because we ALL have our issues and demons that we need to work on. We are just too different in the ways that we want relationships to be. AND who knows, maybe ONE day in the future when we BOTH grow up and mature, we can be together and work things out then. I love him and ill always miss him but this is def for the best. He was my heart, my world, and my everything but we are better off this way. :)

<3

heeartburn...

2010-09-05T03:31:00.000-07:00

Ive had it for a few days now.. Louis and I broke up, OBVIOUSLY.. I feel sad, mad, angry, and distraught over it. I can barely eat, sleep, (thats why im up at 330am), and I have little motivation to do anything other than PEE and get right back into bed.. I KNOW, it'll pass but a part of me doesnt want it to. Louis to me was someone that I could laugh with, fight with, HATE, scream at, have the most passionate moments with and be myself around.. I literally feel like my dog has died... It sounds stupid and I am sure you are all shaking your head because you all felt like he wasnt worth it and ISNT worth it, but to me he was. To me he was my world and I wanted to marry him and have babies with him, and share my life with him... No one can say anything to me to make me feel better at this point. I am stressing way too much and I feel lost. Lonely. Betrayed. All I wanted was for him to love me right this time.. I had faith that it would happen..

Ughhh.

Ill let you know when my mood changes... :(

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted

2010-09-05T03:19:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. there are a few people that I could think of but I dont want to write all night.. You all know who you are but at least we are all working things out and trying to be adults about things.. :)

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

2010-08-29T17:22:00.001-07:00

WELLLLL, I am SURE you all know the answer... Yes. Mr. Ference. Lol.. BUT I think in a way, he has also taught me a lot about myself and how truely strong I can be. He has pushed, pulled, made my days hell, made my days great, but he is one of the VERY few people that I can count on when I really need him the most.. He gets me, he doesnt get me, he makes me cry, laugh, love, hate and scream but at the end of the day, I know who I want to be laying next to when I close my eyes.. And that would be him..

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

2010-08-22T14:47:00.000-07:00

Someone who has made my life worth living would be, my dad. I know he was crazy and I know he was out of it a lot more times than not, but after he passed, I realized life is pretty short and you never know what could happen... I knew this before but its just sad that he was 53 and didnt live to see 100. lol.. I want to..I miss him EVERYDAY and realize out of everyone in my family, I was the closest to him.. I just wish he was still here.. :)

<3

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

2010-08-20T08:44:00.000-07:00

I sat and thought about this for a few minutes.. Pondering WHAT it is that I hope I never have to do, and the only thing that I could come up with was, I hope I never have to have surgery.. I get scared of going "under" ONLY because I am diabetic and with how I have taken care of my body these past few years I know I could have complications.. :( I also hope I never have to be on Kidney Dialysis. I couldnt stand being in the hospital EVERYDAY. Therefore, like I said in previous posts, I am working out and trying to remain healthy.. Wish me luck. :)

<3

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

2010-08-19T08:29:00.000-07:00

Become healthier.. I have managed to go 4 days without Soda OR fast food! I am on TRACK and I have been working out since Monday! It's only been less than a week but I feel better and I want to keep it up. :) Like I said, I am not trying to be SUPER DUPER skinny, (that takes time anyways), but I JUST want to live a healthy life and be good about my Diabetes.. well, somewhat.. Lol.

Ans also..

Become a good photographer.. I would say GREAT, but that takes time and A LOT of effort.. As we ALL know, I am less than motivated when it comes to doing things but I will eventually put my foot forward and do what I can. :)

<3

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

2010-08-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

I forgive YOU for:

Cheating on me and making me hate you for a while because of all the shitty things you did to me and I had to go thru. I hope this time around you are different and I dont have to go thru it all over again. Prove me wrong because Ill never love ANYONE like I love you. I've tried and failed.

<3

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

2010-08-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

I forgive myself for not taking better care of my body after realizing I was Diabetic... however, I am trying to take the high road and REALLY stay motivated to lose weight and just become healthier even if im not the skinniest or the fittest. I just want to feel better and not so lazy.. :) I also forgive myself for thinking I never said I love you enough. There are days where I want to call you and just say hi, but I know I cant because you arent here anymore. I know that you KNEW I loved you regardless of how many times I said it... I just wish I had spent more time with you that last night at home. I love you Dad. :)

<3

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

2010-08-10T18:29:00.000-07:00

I love how I would do ANYTHING for family and friends WHEN needed... I also love how FUNNY I am and at times SUPER WITTY... I love how I can be so boyish ONE day and then look GLAMOUROUS the next. I love how I have gotten MUCH more confident as I have gotten older and learned that being a LITTLE slutty is STILL ok and probably will be til Im about 40.. Lol. I love how I love HARD and PASSIONATELY and I will fight to get what I want. I love that I believe in Happily Ever After and I want it SO BAD. I just know there are tough times I have to get thru to get there but I am willing to do whatever it takes.

Til Day 3.

<3

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

2010-08-09T20:56:00.000-07:00

Hmm, where to start.. there are a few things that I can list. Such as:

I hate that I am TOO naive and trusting. I guess in a way, LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, I like to see the glass half full, rather than half empty. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt before I judge for MYSELF... I want to see the good in people because even though some people are SO BAD and sometimes TOO EVIL, I feel like they have good inside. I guess I search for it and sometimes come up short. Lol.

I also hate that I am so UNMOTIVATED. I WANT to do things but then get lazy or other things come up or I think I wont be good enough at them. Like my photography. I want to pursue it but I feel it wont be good enough. Singing, but I feel I wont be good enough. I need to work on this but I need more confidence in THOSE areas.

I also hate that I am SO forgetful. Lol. I am sorry to ALL of you who have dealt with it. I DONT ALWAYS forget things, but sometimes I am SO busy or thinking about SO MANY other things, that things slip my mind. I need vitamins or something to regain my memory! Damn you DIABETES. Lol. JK..

and lastly, me and a friend were talking the other day and YES, sometimes I feel like I am too defensive about things.. NOT on purpose but I guess in a way, growing up and being in certain relationships, I have had to be defensive, or justify LOTS of things in certain situations, and it comes naturally. I will work on it. Lol.

Til day 2. :)

<3

30 Days of Truth.. :)

2010-08-08T10:23:00.000-07:00

I stole this from Cherice's blog and ALSO heard Marte talking about it. It seems like a good idea and to keep me SANE when I am BORED at work. :) For 30 days I have to follow this list and do everything it says.. I like to talk about myself so it should be easy.. Lol.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

I think I can do it. Hopefully.. Lol We shall see. <3

if you really knew me...

2010-07-30T14:34:00.000-07:00

You'd know....

I LOVE Mocha Double Shots.
I wish I were skinnier and had a 6 pack. Lol
I love the color black more than any color but only wear it to look more slimming, but WHO doesnt?
I think about my dad all the time and wish I could call him just to say hi.
I cant live without my cell phone.
I love AND hate drama.
I am not as bad you think I am and I hate when people assume things about me without asking.
I am IN LOVE.
I love food but should probably not eat as much of it so I can get that 6 pack. Lol
I want to work out but I dont have motivation.
I want to start school but I dont have MOTIVATION.
I want more tattoos.
I love ALF. He is my furry soulmate.
I love photography and wish I was more creative.
I love clutter.
I love iCarly. I am a kid at heart.
Even though I didnt graduate high school, im not stupid.
Even though I dont have a valid drivers license, I can drive better than you. Lol
I want to be a famous singer but I dont have the balls to try out for American Idol or anything else that could help me in the future. :(
I am NOT a homewrecker even though a lot of people seem to think so.
My favorite smell of all time is laundry detergent.
I love HOT SHOWERS.
I love black nail polish more than any other color...go figure.
I love sleep and would rather spend a whole day in bed than go out and do anything.
I HATE the way Farrah from Teen Mom cries. Ugly.
I HATE to cry but sometimes it feels good and it helps me sleep.
I wish I wasnt Diabetic but then id weigh 400 pounds. Lol.
I wish that people didnt think that I forgot EVERYTHING, its just my mind is ALWAYS full. It's not an excuse, its the truth. I remember things.
I wish that people took me more seriously. I know im a joker but I CAN be serious.
I dont care what people think of me. IF you dont like me, your bad not mine.
I am thankful for the people that are in my life and they made it for a reason.
I love my family but sometimes they do annoy me. Its natural.
I LOVE Farley more than ANYONE cause he is ALWAYS here for me and is excited to see me whether its been 5 min, 5 hours, or 5 days. :)
I love the way Farley eats his food. Lol.

I was watching "IF you really knew me and it made me want to write a blog".. I know a lot of you know me but some of you dont. :)

Thats all for now.. :)

Me.

Thinks it's funny....

2010-07-23T10:20:00.001-07:00

When girls who ASSUME things about me, write things on their FACEBOOK and then leave it up for 4 months... LOL. Comical. I can't get enough laughter out of girls who are OBSESSED with me.

Gotta LOVE it. :)

Happiness.

2010-07-19T10:10:00.000-07:00

I guess for the first time in a while, I am happy again. I mean, I am ALWAYS happy but there are additions to my life that have put me in a place where I can breath. Not FULLY but I am getting there... Things are changing for the good and hopefully STAY that way. I have been reading other blogs, mostly about LOVE and I have come across a few pictures that I absolutely LOVE. Such as the post BEFORE this one. It sums up a few things for me. Lol. And this one...

It just seems like a perfect moment. The lighting is great and they look SO IN LOVE. It makes me inspired that there are real moments and love out there. :) I am hoping that this road I am taking, is the right one. Im gonna try it out and if things go awry, then at least I tried. :) Like I have said before.. In this moment, I am happy. :)

♥

Love.

2010-07-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

That is all.

Life.

2010-07-09T23:28:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't written in a while or blogged but my life is GREAT.

I moved in with ONLY Marte.
We are DEF having fun getting everything together and I am SO glad that she is my roomie. She also set EVERYTHING up, as in cable, electricity and all the MAIN essentials.. I couldnt have a BETTER BESTIE... So, Marte, I appreciate that. :) Lol. You are the BEST.

I am glad and THANKFUL I still have a job and I am making money. :)

In this moment I am HAPPY. :)

<3

Ill write more later.. :)

1 more thing...

2010-05-23T14:29:00.001-07:00

This picture.

I'm in the blogging mood...

2010-05-23T14:09:00.001-07:00

I feel like I need to write a gratitude list. I haven't in a while and therefore here it goes:

I am grateful for:

Deli Creations.
Diet Dr. Pepper.
Twix.
Tiffany's Cafe.
My job.
The beautiful house that Tom Dibs and Marte let me reside in.
Puppies when they ARENT being annoying. (nothing but LOVE Vigo). Lol.
The newest addition to my friends list, Kelly Da Bear.
Germ-X.
Sidekicks.
Twitter.
Text messaging because it helps scary girls become brave.
Jersey Shore.
Prince of Persia. AKA Jake Gyllenhaal.
June 8th...Christina's new cd comes out.
BLOGGER.
ALL the money that I have been able to save.
March 28th.
Farley.
My family.
My amazing, strong, TRUE friends.
My Ford because it's STILL pushing hard after all these yrs..(ok 3)..Lol.
Nail Polish. I have SO many colors!
Music.
The saying "Ontothenextone"...thanks Jay Z. Lol.
Wet Seal and their tank top sales.
EXBF'S who make you realize good AND bad things.
Life.
Laughing.
Learning.
Being Me.
Never changing who I have become.
You. <3

That is all right now. :) If I think of more or another blog to jot down...I will.

:)

True Life.

2010-05-23T10:57:00.000-07:00

I am.... the bombdotcom. Either love me or hate me.

I think.... people are too nosy and should mind their business a lot more than they do.

I should... follow my heart ALWAYS regardless of the people around me. Only "I" can make myself happy.

I dream... of Jeanie.

I want... to be happy and spontaneous like I ALWAYS am.

I know... more than you think I do.

I don't like.... scary girls.

I smell.... like Soap & Glory ALL the time.

I hear.... a frog. (My text messages)

I fear.... Death. Diabetes. Vampires that are CRAZY. Lol.

I usually... play bejeweled when I am bored at work... I never seem to get the highest score.. I will try til I DIE though. Lol.

I search... the sky for shooting stars JUST so I can make a wish, whether it comes true or not, at least I tried.

I miss.... being young again. It was SO simple.

I always... try and see the glass half full rather than half empty. :)

I regret.... NOTHING. All the mistakes I have made, make me who I am today. Take it or leave it.

I wonder.... when Gossip Girl Season 3 comes out on DVD. Ill have to google it.

I crave.... coffee.sugar.food. ALL the time.

I remember... back in the day when I was young im not a kid anymore.

I need... to pay my car payment, do some laundry and take a shower when I get home.

I forget... A LOT of things. I have a million different thoughts running through my head ALL the time.

I feel... better.

I can.... do anything better than you.

I can't... wait til summer is over. I hate the heat.

I am happy... and nothing and NO ONE will shake me of that.

I lose... out on sleep more than I should!

I sing... Randomly. I LOVE to sing.

I listen... when you talk.

I shop... less and less. I am starting to save more and more, which makes me feel better. :)

I eat... EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. I am surprised I am not 400 pounds yet.

I love... you. <3

Ugh.

2010-04-12T22:12:00.000-07:00

FUUUUCK...

WOE

2010-04-03T23:34:00.000-07:00

is me. <3

JUST when you think you have ENOUGH hot sauce, you realize, you don't.

Changes...

2010-02-16T12:25:00.000-08:00

A LOT has happened in the past few months, OBVIOUSLY. One thing I have been WANTING to do, is cut my hair and add SOME changes to it, SO I DID..

Most of you have seen it on Myspace or Facebook but I thought I'd blog about it.. :)

Also I have FINALLY moved in with my BFFS and my furry little LOVE, Farley! I love it!

2010 has been pretty good to me and I hope it gets better. Ill post more later when I have time and feel like writing a million things. :)

Love,
Me.
<3

I was lookin around on Myspace.....

2009-12-28T04:21:00.001-08:00

and I found this old blog written AGES ago that I stole from Kerry's Myspace...(when Myspace was popular)... Lol.. Facebook is SO much cooler now!

Anyways, I think we all will read this and take one or two from it.. so here ya go. :)

To Achieve Your Dreams,Remember Your ABCs - by Wanda Carter

A -void negative sources, people, things and habits.

B -elieve in yourself.

C -onsider things from every angle.

D -on't give up and don't give in.

E -njoy life today: yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.

F -amily and Friends are hidden treasures. Seek them and enjoy their riches.

G -ive more than you planned to give.

H -ang on to your dreams.

I -gnore those who try to discourage you.

J -ust do it!

K -eep on trying, no matter how hard it seems. It will get better.

L -ove yourself first and foremost.

M -ake it happen.

N -ever lie, cheat, or steal. Always strike a fair deal.

O -pen your eyes and see things as they really are.

P -ractice makes perfect.

Q -uitters never win and winners never quit.

R -ead, study and learn about everything important in your life.

S -top procrastinating.

T -ake control of your own destiny.

U -nderstand yourself in order to better understand others.

V -isualize it.

W -ant it more than anything.

X -ccelerate your efforts.

Y -ou are unique of all of Nature's creations. Nothing can replace you.

Z -ero in on your target, and go for it!

P.S. I think for me... Stop Procrastinating is my MAIN thing I need to work on! Lol..

Happy New Year to all of you! I hope 2010 brings you HAPPINESS! :) <3

Holiday Photos for CHEAP!

2009-12-02T06:00:00.001-08:00

Ok, so MOST of you, well... ALL of you know that I LOVE photography. I have been slacking A LOT and I feel like I need to get SOME motivation to get out there and get my camera back into the world....

SOOO.. here is my deal.. I KNOW that it's hard out there right now with the economy and jobs BUT I will snap you, your family, you and your DOG, and WHOEVER else you want for the low price of ONLY $50. It's a good price and will get me some photos for my future portfoilio as well. So let me help YOU whilst helping me!

If you want to get pictures done email me your name and number and Ill be willing to drive to you. :)

I dont have my own computer right now, SOOO, what I CAN do, is print them out onto a disk and you may do what you want with them! Let me know if this works for you! :)

My email is: Photos4u33@yahoo.com

Hope to hear from you all soon! :)

Happy Holidays
Maggie

For Thanksgiving....

2009-11-26T03:42:00.000-08:00

I want to write ANOTHER Gratitude list..

The Holidays are here and they are the first ones without my dad. We ALL miss him and it's hard to imagine when we all sit down to eat our Thanksgiving dinner, he wont be there stuffing his face with PIE, even before the BIG MEAL gets set up. I know it will be VERY tough on my mom along with the rest of the family, near or far. I just hope everyone is open to talk about him and share memories even if it's hard. I know I want to and I will. :)

I was just sitting at work and I wanted to tell everyone what I am THANKFUL for this year even though it's been a VERY rough year for me and others in the world, AND we should ALL hate 2009! I am sure most of you do but here it goes anyways....

This YEAR I am thanksful for:

*My family.

I love my brother, Travis, his wife, Amanda and ESPECIALLY my mom, Marilyn. Since everything has happened I feel like we have all became a BIT closer and tried as hard as we could to make things a bit happier around the house. I appreciate them ALL, whether there is fighting, hard times, rough times, and great times. They help me in their own little ways. :) RIP Daddy. :(

*Love
*Life
*Laughing
*Sleep
*The money that I HAVE made at my new job
*Nail Polish
*Mascara
*My clouded thoughts at times, they help me think.
*Good choices and Bad choices, they have made me who I am today.
*My journal. It helps, believe me.
*Pictures, like I have said, they help me remember.
*My cell phone and TEXTING.. I am ALWAYS texting!

*MY BFF Marte. (and her ability to shoot GREAT photos..Lol).. I am joking. :)

We have had CRAZY, wild, and AMAZING nights out. Even if it was INSIDE one of our houses with drunk bitches and chicken dip, going out, at a pool, bar hopping, or New Years with CRAZY MEN, Lol, she has ALWAYS been and will ALWAYS be the greatest friend I have ever had. She doesnt judge me when I do something irresponsible. She is ALWAYS by my side. Ready to get in trouble, stay OUT of trouble or beat girls up and take their cameras. Lol. I am thankful that I met her and got to know her as well as I do. I love her for her personality, her long, flowing Martaylor Kardashian hair, lol, and her amount of confidence, love, and respect she has in herself and finds in others. She has given bad, good, and GREAT advice to me and I took it however I could at the time. She has helped me through GREAT times and the WORST times of my life. She has been the shoulder for me to cry on and the ear to listen to ALL my problems when I had an UNFAIR amount, at one point in my life...and believe me it was ROUGH.. I am thankful for her and her CUNT-ISH ways and always will be. Lol. :) Martitty I love you. (CC) FO' LIFE. Lol.

*Insulin
*Alcohol, lol, sometimes I like to forget things, but then take it too far...and in that case:
*Hospitals
*Paramedics

*My dog Farley.

He helps me remember that life should be a bit more happier. He is always wagging his tail and stuffing his face. We should learn more from how our animals act. :)

*Thanksgiving and all the food that it brings.
*Chapstick
*Love letters
*My past, it helped me become who I am today.
*Books. I LOVE to read
*Cooking classes, (Kerry?)...Lol
*Bubble wrap..I think its FUN!
*Coffee, because it helps me stay awake to write this stuff... Lol.
*Spongebob, cause he ALSO helps me stay awake.
*ALLLLL of my friends. You know who you are. You know what each one of you bring to the table in our friendship and I love you all.
*The moment I open my eyes from a long night/morning of sleep. I know that I made it to another day.
*Food
*Diet coke
*WATER! WATER! WATER!
*The gym, even though I NEVER go, but I will try and make it a point to start.
*Subway, cause sometimes its better to eat fresh.
*Sushi. Yum.
*Softbaked cookies.
*The smell of Pumpkin Pie in the oven.
*Breathing
*Sunshine
*etc, etc, etc.....

I could go on and on.. I am thankful for a lot and my list may start to BORE you, OR make you smile. I think I have made a point. Lol.

Thank you all for reading and being a part of my life. I appreciate you.

I wonder......

2009-11-23T05:50:00.000-08:00

what you would have looked like.

It's a lot tougher than I thought.

<3

2009-11-16T05:05:00.000-08:00

Well, I felt like writing a BLOG and I am not sure why... right now at 5:06am? I can tell you this much, I am wide awake from the coffee I INHALED and the Bagel Bites that filled me up. I have SO many thoughts running through my head ALL the time that I never know where to begin with these things.... so I have a journal that I write ANY thought I am having, down. ANY thought... for example. How I am cold. How I feel about people, how I miss my dad... and so on and so forth... It's for me and it helps. If I want to go back and read ANYTHING that I was thinking about on a particular day, I can. There are other things in there that are personal, but I can't always write EVERYTHING I feel in here. People may be upset. Lol.

I was going through some pictures the other day and I came across the photo that I JUST took of Farley. He JUST turned 5 in Sept and his age is showing. I hope he is around for a LONG time. I DO NOT think that I will be able to handle him NOT being here but when that day comes, Ill deal.. take a week off work and cry myself to sleep EVERY NIGHT. Lol.. Anyways, here it is:

Here is another favorite of mine:

You may have seen these on my Myspace or Facebook but I wanted to share them with those of you who I don't know. :)

XOXO
Mags

Thanks for the thought...<3

2009-11-10T03:50:00.000-08:00

My Gratitude List.

-My 8 hours alone at work on GRAVE. Sometimes you never get enough alone time.

-My FACEBOOK. It lets me know I have friends. Ha ha.

-Photos in my hat box. It helps me remember.

-Thoughts of my dad. I miss him more each day. As I was looking thru my hat box I found more photos of him that I am going to eventually hang up in frames. I remember.

-My bed. Oh how I wouldnt be able to sleep without it.

-Farley. He is my love even though he smells like DEATH.

-Driving time. Sometimes I like to practice my singing when I drive and no ones in the car with me. I want to be a singer but I don't have the guts.

-Life. Enough said.

-YOU. Because you make my life happy and simple. <3

-Rain. Because I love to kiss in it.

-My mom. She is the rock for all of us and she tries to always make things better before they are worse.

-My friends. Close or not. You still have an impact on my life and you all fit into my life puzzle somehow.

-Ice cream. DAMN YOU Ice Cream!

<3

We will be VICTORRRRIOUS....

2009-11-09T03:10:00.000-08:00

I have been jammin out to Muse lately while at work. It could be because I bring up my Myspace and thats the song on my profile, as well as the first song on my Facebook Ipod music thingy... Lol. I like the song Uprising by them right now. It's a good one. Some of their old shit I don't like but this new song makes me want to buy their new album. We will see if in the next few weeks I give in and buy it.

Well, I am tired. I have been working a lot of graves lately and I don't mind, I just need to get into the habit of sleeping during the day a bit. I got SOME sleep today....about 5 hours or so and then woke up to come to work from midnight to 8am. It's quiet here and there and sometimes I get freaked out being here all alone but I have Facebook, Myspace, HULU and of course aolradio, WHEN I remember to put it on, otherwise like I said, I jam out to Muse. Not a lot has been going on with me. I am working, hanging out, and living life. I know a lot of you know about the whole camera situation at hand. If you don't please read this link:

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local-beat/Stranger-Returns-Missing-Camera-68733157.html

Now they said, the DAY after this aired that they were going to be putting it on The Today Show. OBVIOUSLY that never happened or I would have attached that link too. Lol. The camerman from The Today Show came over, interviewed me and told me to watch between 7am and 9am. At about 7:30am MY time and 10:30am, Eastern time, my friend Nolan that lives in CT, text me and told me he had been watching for about 3 hours and he saw NOTHING about the camera story. So, I call Shannon, the DETECTIVE, Lol, and she got a hold of someone else that EVENTUALLY told us after an hour of going back and forth, that they didnt know when it was going to air. SO, I will keep you ALL informed. :)

Other than that, there is pretty much nothing too exciting happening with me. My life is simple. Easy. I am finally breathing more and learning to just take it one day at a time. :)

I hope everyone else is doing ok and if I have anything else exciting to write about, I will.

Hollllllllller.
<3

The Chris Farley Show...

2009-10-24T06:10:00.000-07:00

Here I sit at work. It's 6:10am and I have YET to close my eyes to take an itty bitty nap. I hear the TV on out in the other room with Gospel music blaring from the speakers and I wonder WHO in their right mind ACTUALLY wakes up at 6:00am to watch church on TELEVISION? It's kind of weird to me, but whatever, to each their own.

Not much has been going on with me lately. I mean I have changed jobs, my way of thinking about LIFE, and if you haven't noticed, MEN. LOL. I feel more relaxed, more calm, and more certain with things going on. Not everything is PERFECT but I know it will get there, or close to it. I had some rough months that just came and went and I am glad they are ALL behind me. People that I didn't NEED in my life are NOW out and I am thankful for all the people that I can TRULY count on ALL the time. You can only count your real friends on ONE hand they say, and I agree. You can have a plethora of friends but which ones will really stay by your side in the end? 10 yrs from now? 20 yrs from now? I mean we all grow up and move forward in life so you never know who will grow up and move forward with you. I am just happy about the ones that I have grown up and moved forward with. All in all, I am very happy now...more than JUST VERY.... EXTREMELY. I just can't put it into words right now, but for me.. LIFE is simple at this moment. I may have some bad and hard times eventually but I am just content with how things are and I hope they stay this way for a while. A long while.

I don't really know where all this is coming from. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, especially here at work when the phones are not ringing off the hook. I have a lot of time to myself more so than I have had in the past few months and it's nice. I mean, I don't like to be alone too long but when I am, I enjoy it.

Anyways, besides all that, I brought this new book to work with me to read. It's called, "The Chris Farley Show".. I have had 8 hours to read it but I have chosen hour 7 to start it.....WHAT?! I had a lot of facebooking, myspacing, youtubing, and huluing to do. I am a hard worker over here. Lol.

Ill try and blog some more when I have something INTERESTING to talk about.

I never rant about LOVE but here it is...

2009-07-12T16:57:00.000-07:00

Love.
WHAT is Love?
If you care to go over the 9 definitions that Webster's Dictionary has on their website, feel free. It's there in plain lettering explaining what it is supposed to "mean". It even throws in the definition; "a score of zero (as in tennis)". Really? I would think that might be in a different "definition" part of the dictionary? Anyways..

I wish that someone could EXPLAIN this whole Love thing to me and what it is supposed to really be like, I have had my share of LOVE and I LOVE, LOVE so don't get me wrong here but, like they say in "He's Just Not That Into You", when a boy in elementary school pushes you down or throws dirt in your face, it's supposed to be CUTE and taken as, "HE has a CRUSH on you." Oh... IS THAT what that means? Well, cause I thought that a boy pushing you down, throwing dirt in your face, and breaking your heart was supposed to be FROWNED UPON. Kind of like "masturbating on an airplane".. (HAHA Marte).
Anyways MY POINT, or somewhat a rant, Why is it when you give yourself to someone COMPLETELY and want nothing but to have them near you FOREVER, marry them, have their kids, grow old with them, they mess up, which makes you push them AWAY but STILL WANT them? I have seen a MILLION cases INCLUDING my own. I guess what I am saying is WHAT is LOVE? We all have our definitions.

Girls Say:
LOVE IS when a guy buys you flowers and shows you how much he loves you on a regular day of the week and NOT just on HOLIDAYS or special occasions.
LOVE IS when he gets along with your friends and makes an effort to be in the "circle". WHAT does it matter when no one liked him anyways?
LOVE IS when he buys you ice cream when you're sad or sick and makes you laugh when you are crying, even when its HIM that makes you cry.
LOVE IS when he writes you small notes telling you he loves you and leaves them all over the place so you find them as you are leaving or coming home.
LOVE IS when you and him spend time with each other and just "click", with an occasional fight. (It supposedly shows you care right?)
LOVE IS when he buys you the most EXPENSIVE diamond and proposes to you in the most romantic way.
LOVE IS when he buys you the most EXPENSIVE WEDDING because he KNOWS how HAPPY it will make you... etc, etc, etc...

The list can go ON AND ON of what LOVE is supposed to be. We were taught as YOUNG girls that your future BOYFRIEND/HUSBANDS were supposed to be like Prince Charming, from Snow White, Cinderella, and of course the CLASSIC, Sleeping Beauty. In reality, our lives somewhat go like the fairytale I have come to LOVE, BEAUTY and THE BEAST. OR SHREK? It JUST depends on the situation and honestly how cute of a couple you are...LOL. (if your bf looks like SHREK, id get out NOW.)

You see, us girls are all delicate and SCARED to love BEASTS, but we do. We give them LOVE, we care for them, tell them how IMPORTANT they are and NO MATTER how much we resent them for breaking our hearts and doing shitty things, we tend to fall into patterns with the SAME kind of guys or hang on to the ones that we SHOULD let go. I am guilty and I know a few girls who are JUST as guilty. You tend to love the FAULTS of all the beasts you come across, fall in love with and sometimes sleep with a few times...(I guess I should stop referring to ALL of them as BEASTS because we know there are a FEW Prince Charmings left who ONLY bring out the BEASTS when we WANT it most and some girls...well they are NOT all BEAUTIES.. GNOOOMEEE SAYIN?)... LOL.

I hate that when a girl OR boy, takes the time to make their significant other the most IMPORTANT person in their lives, takes them to meet their family, spend an OUTRAGEOUS amount of time with that person and do EVERYTHING to show them that they are WANTED and NEEDED, and then messes it up because they needed an "ego boost"... OH? I thought this whole time, I WAS giving you that and making you realize that for ONCE, someone could actually LOVE YOU and give you their heart. Instead you take it, trample it, treat it like garbage and ruin the trust they have because you are insecure and need to break THEIR HEARTS before you are the one crying yourself to sleep every night. I don't get the whole "LOVE" thing and to be honest I probably never will. I don't get girls or boys and their attempt at life. I think that I have been an amazing person with a big heart and I try and do everything right when I am in a relationship. I always get the shitty end of the stick because, I am NAIVE and TRUST too much. I love too much. I give too much. I find myself pondering the days before when life was easy and being a kid was the best. No worries, no loss of ANYTHING, not even a dumb boy pushing me down on the playground could make me UPSET. (PLUS, I'd just grab my big brother and he would take care of it..) I don't have the RIGHT DEFINITION for LOVE, I HAVE MY DEFINITION and thats all i need. Everyone considers LOVE to be different.

Sooo,

I have been going through some stuff in my head lately. Thinking about things for me, my future and what's best for me. It always comes back to HIM. I get confused, don't wanna talk to him, don't wanna STRESS, CRY, WORRY, or anything else that comes with a "messed up" relationship, but I think THATS what LOVE IS.... Well to me anyways... I guess CRAZINESS, being passionate, and HOPING that SOON that person that broke your heart a few times will MAN UP and change for the better. That YES we ALL make mistakes, but you hope they learn from them after SO long. That when its good its good but when it's ROUGH, its rough. HARD times, good times, and the SHITTIEST times. Someone who KNOWS how to push your buttons and make you see things THEIR way along with yours. Someone that can look at you and KNOW when you are upset, happy, or angry with them. Someone that can tell you, you have 6 smiles. (sorry I know I stole that from Win a Date With Tad Hamilton but come on... its a cute movie)..Someone that wants to FIGHT and FIGHT FOR YOU and will do anything to win you back after breaking up over and over. It's not healthy to some people and I understand that. I am not saying IT IS... I am not saying ANYTHING that he has done was good but there have been way more GREAT times than BAD. I am JUST SAYING how I feel right now and no conclusions have been made about MY LIFE, OUR RELATIONSHIP, OR the outcome of anything. I am simply ranting.
I don't know what the future holds for me in my LIFE, relationships and career and Ill find out sooner than later. Like I said in my last blog, I see the glass half FULL rather than HALF EMPTY. After all the SHIT that I have been through, I should see it half empty and GIVE UP on EVERYTHING but I can't.

I was in CHURCH yesterday with my family and the pastor was talking about how we should NEVER DWELL on the PAST. It makes you sick, stunts your growth, ruins how you look at life, makes you bitter and turns you into a CRAZY BITCH.. I would know.. and WELL, easier said than done I guess, its never easy to just forget. Its not easy to forget the HORRIBLE things that the ONE PERSON you confided in, called your BEST FRIEND, YOUR soulmate and gave your ALL too, has done, because if someone cared about you THAT MUCH they wouldnt have messed up SO badly. I CAN tell you this. I am living ONE day at a time living my life as a BEAUTY, hoping to find my BEAST whether he lies ahead in the future OR he is ALREADY in my life waiting to break out into his Prince Charming.

That is all. AND I am sorry if I am ALL over the place but I have a movie BLASTING LOUD in my ear... damn surround sound. LOL.

Til next time.

This is life.....

2009-07-11T12:30:00.000-07:00

So, here I sit. Unemployed, missing my dad and wishing my life was not so fucked up. I know I don't have it as bad as a lot of people so I am not complaining, just needing to vent.

In 2 months, I have lost:

A baby.
My dad.
My job.

How I have coped and stayed SANE thrpugh all of this, I have no idea. I guess I have had the best family and the greatest friends to keep me going. I wake up around 9:30am, or later everyday, eat breakfast and then watch movies OR if my mom wants me to, I go with her to run errands. I have not minded relaxing these past few days and I plan on looking for a new job soon. I am just NOT in a rush. After everything I have been through this is the little vaykay that I need. I need to mentally prepare myself for the future that lies ahead, WHATEVER that may be.
I thought about traveling in my lame Ford Focus, taking pictures and selling them around the U.S. but I have NO MONEY, bills to help with around the house, AND my car is NOT registered.. I thought about moving to another state to get away from EVERYTHING and change my life and future but then I thought about how I have NO MONEY, bills to help with around the house, AND my car is NOT REGISTERED.. LOL.. Also, I would be leaving my friends and family who I love and care about and need me more than anything right now. So, both plans are NOT going to go happen. I guess in a way I am trying to run away from a few things weighing on my mind and I don't think it's the right answer. So, here I will stay and here I will be until I decide to leave. Anyone wanna move with me? Say in about, 2 or 3 years? LOL.

I am thankful for everything good that I have been blessed with and all the GOOD things that have happened to me. I can't say that I am one of those people that always thinks negative, when NO MATTER WHAT, I think of the glass half full, instead of half empty. I love my life regardless of all the stress, pain, and bad things I endure because it makes me a stronger person and it makes me appreciate life more. SO, I needed a quick vent and BELIEVE ME, I shall be back in a while to vent some more.

Thanks for listening. :)

Updates: (everyone else is doing it. LOL)

2009-06-30T12:49:00.000-07:00

Well, as most of you know, heard or have read, my father passed away on the 11th of June. A day I will NEVER forget. After almost a month of planning, calling family, and grieving, we are having his memorial THIS Thursday on the 2nd at 11am. We weren't sure what time it was going to be, until this past Sunday after my mom talked to the Pastor. So, now everything is set and we are ready to honor him as much as we can that day. It's been rough and I have my days where I do nothing but think of him and how sad I am that he is NOT here, but I get thru it and keep on truckin'. I miss him more and more everyday. People say it's supposed to "get easier" but to be honest, I think it only gets easier to hide the tears and the pain because I feel it everyday. My mom brought him home in his urn last week. It is SO nice and on the outside is a place for a picture. We placed the picture of him in his white tux at my brother's wedding in it. He is in my moms bedroom safe and sound, where she can say goodnight to him everynight and good morning when she wakes up. It's going to be a good service and I hope whoever reads this and WANTS to attend that they do. Please call me or my brother and we can give you directions. :)

On another note, I am back to work, doing well, and as happy as I can be most days. If there are any other updates that I have MISSED out on, Ill be sure to add them in another blog sometime soon. I will also add pictures of me and my dad when I find them all. :) I want to make sure I have them saved as many places as possible and so everyone can see them. :)

<3
Maggie

In Loving Memory

2009-06-22T14:42:00.001-07:00

Joseph Matthew Flynn
12/15/1955-06/11/2009

As most of you know, my amazing and loving father, Joseph Matthew Flynn, passed away on June 11th, 2009. I am DISTRAUGHT. Sad. Emotional. Confused. Angry. Depressed. There are just too many feelings that are going thru my head and heart to describe. I am literally fighting back tears while I sit here at work, catching up, and trying to get back into life's routine. We don't know what happened yet, but we will get the results back from his autopsy in about a month.

Since it happened, I find myself feeling regret about not spending enough time with him, not telling him that I loved him enough, and not telling him good night before he laid down and went to bed that night. ALL he EVER did was love me, my brother and my mom WAY too much and wanted nothing but the best for us. Even though he wasnt rich with money, he was rich with love and gave nothing but that EVERYDAY. I miss him more and more as each day goes by. I know my dad would not want me or the rest of my family to sit around and mope. He would have wanted us to be happy and keep on living with huge smiles on our faces. I just know I am going to miss HIS smile, his laugh, his stories that he loved to tell over and over again, the way he would get mad when me and my brother used to fight, the way he would yell at me when I was behind on my bills and being irresponsible, (which was all the time), the way he would ALWAYS make sure I was ok with GAS, FOOD, LIFE, because if not he would try and give me HIS money to make sure I was, even if it was the last few dollars in his wallet. What I will miss the most is the way he loved us all SO MUCH. To me, he was AMAZING. He was the BEST pool player I have ever encountered and the best dad anyone could ask for. He told the lamest jokes, would always yell "WHAT!!?" because his hearing was going out, and he tried to repeat things I said, but it wasn't what I said at all, because he thought I said something completely different then what came out of my mouth. If you don't understand, I guess you had to be there.... LOL. he was cheesy, sweet, funny, sarcastic, and always had food in his mustache. He was SO great and I am going to miss everything about him. He was there for me thru the hardest times and I appreciate everything that he has ever done for me. He wanted nothing more than for me to be happy and live my life the way I wanted. I am like him in more ways than one, ESPECIALLY in the NOSE area. LOL There were so many GREAT qualities about my dad that I wish everyone would have gotten to see. There are so many more memories and stories that I could write out but then I would be at work ALL night. LOL He is going to be missed forever. May he rest in peace.

I love you daddy,
ALWAYS AND FOREVER
Maggie

The Box.

2009-06-04T12:01:00.001-07:00

Today I went to a meeting for work. As I was FALLING asleep to the boring conversations of talk about: retention, percentages, enrolling students, referrals, and all other things that don't apply to my job ALL that much, we came to the end of the meeting. Our new campus director, Charlie, wanted to close it with a few words. I don't know him all that well, I just know he tranferred from somewhere and came to work for our FAB campus! LOL He then presented us with a slide show. It had pictures of where he was born, Vietnam. He stated, as everyone knows, that the war ended in 1975, the year he was born. He went into how he was homeless for the first 4 years of his life with his mother and 2 brothers. He then went into all the insecurities he had growing up from there. Not knowing his father for the first 6 years if his life because he was deep in the jungle, getting nothing more than D-'s on his report card but STILL graduating, learning English at the age of 16 and and getting better as each year came and went. After graduating he went to lunch with his father and his father thought he should become a mechanic because he was called almost last at his graduation for his low grades. The Box is a way for him to basically say, "step out of your box". All his insecurites, like everyone elses, should be confronted and defeated. I mean it sounds easier than it is, but he made it seem so simple.

I guess my point of this blog is, it made me think. We all have insecurities that need to be confronted. They come out in the wrong way. We blame others for them or become egomaniacs and try and control people THRU our insecurities. We all need to step outside our box and face everything. It just goes back to the book I have read called: Face the Fear...and Do It Anyways. We get scared, worried, feel low, and have shitty days. We need to wake up, smile, and make the best of life. Live one day at a time and just soak in the world.

Anyways, thats my time.

Moving on...

2009-05-19T16:51:00.000-07:00

I usually dont like to write ridiculous blogs, emails, or get in the middle of shit. I have been TRYING to steer CLEAR of things that could effect my moods and my life. I have been thru A LOT the past few weeks and I feel like I needa GOOD cleansing. So here it is:

WE ALL have more important things to worry about then who is talking SHIT about who. Yet, at SOME point in our lives we ALL gossip, we ALL open our mouths and ask "promise not to tell anyone"?, thinking that the person you CONFIDE in wont have someone CLOSE to them to tell YOUR secret to. SO, here it is nice and simple. STOP putting yourselves in situations that CAUSE DRAMA. There is NO NEED. We are ALL obviously NOT friends for one reason or another and it's NOT the end of the world. We grow apart, move on to other things in life and BECOME adults, (although lately it seems we are ALL GUILTY of acting otherwise). It's stupid. Everyone should stop running their mouths about EVERYONES business INCLUDING MINE. I have been thru TOO MUCH and would appreciate it if everyone could stop asking me if I AM OK, talking about my BF, and wondering what the FUCK I am doing. I dont worry about ANY of you because like i said, "I HAVE MORE important things to worry about and YOU ALL are NOT on my agenda." I am in a place where I WANT to be and IF I ever change my mind, ILL "HOLLER" at you and let you know.

LOVE ME.
<3

2 New Books

2009-03-05T09:29:00.000-08:00

I have been reading A LOT more again lately to pass my time at work when I am NOT working. I have added 2 new books to my "book list". Those 2 new books are:

Feel The Fear....And Do It Anyway - I saw it at Borders and thought to myself, WHY NOT? I can always use a good self help book. It will always make me feel better and take a new perspective on life and things IN my life. So, I am starting that today. I think it also may be one of those books where you take notes. I'll let you know the outcome and IF all my fear went away and i DID IT ANYWAY. LOL.

The 2nd book is:

A Piece of Cake - I don't know why this one stood out to me. It may have been the sprinkles of pink, green, orange, and white on the cover or the fact that it was the last copy on the stand. Whatever it was, it made me WANT to buy it. It is about a woman named Cupcake Brown who goes thru a WHOLE shit load of drama. It says she stumbles into gangbanging, drug dealing, hustling, prostitution, theft, and eventually, the best scam of all: a seris of 9-to-5 jobs. LOL. Maybe it is because her name is Cupcake along with all the stuff that she has been thru that made me want to read her memoir but I am going to read it and let you know ALL about it. So, be prepared. LOL.

Well thats all so far. I'll get back to you. :) I love books. :)

Unreasonable Happiness

2009-03-04T08:53:00.000-08:00

OK, so as most of you know, a few blogs back I told you all about the books that I wanted to read and see if they REALLY change my life. Well I just got done reading The Way of The Peaceful Warrior. Now, I have different thoughts about this book and it's meaning, all of which are good. It's about a guy Dan Millman, (the author), and an old "warrior" named Socrates that works at a gas station. This old warrior trains Dan even though he is an athlete and competes in the world of gymnastics. This training is pretty much "life training". They met in the dark of the night, become friends and then of course all throughout the book there is meaning of LIFE. There is a bit of romance, I dont want to give it away, but it's a happy ending. It's basically about the past, present and future. I marked some pages that I thought were meaningful to ME and I want to share them. So here it goes. Just a few quotes, this isnt going to be a book report! LOL

~Just as there are different interpretations of the past and many ways to change the present, there are anumber of possible futures.

~Consciousness in not IN the body; the body is IN the Consciousness. And you are the Consciousness.

~Everything has a purpose; it's for you to make the best use of it. There are no accidents. Everything is a lesson. Trust your life. Everything has a purpose.

~Don't get distracted by experiences. Experiences come and go.

~Any unconscious, compulsive ritual is a problem. When you sit, sit; when you stand, stand; whatever you do, don't wobble. Once you make your choice, do it with spirit. Don't be like the preacher who thought about praying while making love to his wife and thought about making love to his wife, while praying.

~Beneath all our apparent differences we share the same human needs and fears; we're all on the same path together, guiding one another. And this understanding brings compassion.

~There are NO ordinary moments

~Meditating an action is different from doing it. To do, there is a doer, a self-conscious 'someone' perfroming. But when you meditate an action, you've already released attachment to outcomes. There's no 'you' left to do it. In forgetting yourself, you become what you do, so your action is free, spontaneous, without ambition, inhibition, or fear.

~You've learned names and categories for everything. You've become bored with things because they only exist as names to you. The dry concepts of the mind obscure your direct perception.

~The time is NOW and the place is HERE.

~Action always happens in the present, because it is an expression of the body, which can only exist in the here and now. But the mind is like a phantom that lives only in the past or future. Its only power over you is to draw your attention out of the present. Stay in the present. It's safer.

~Love is the warriors sword; wherecer it cuts, it gives life, not death. Love is not something to be understood; it can only be lived.

~You cannot attain happiness; it attains you.

Now I know that without reading the actual BOOK, you can't fully understand the situation in which these words were used and why, but these quotes I think pretain to something in your life. To everyone reading. We all live and die but we don't use our time wisely. We don't love completely. We bullshit people and we lie, cheat, and steal. To me this book showed me that I need to STOP living in the PAST, focus on the PRESENT, so I have a wonderful FUTURE. If you dwell on things, you won't get much accomplished. If you worry and worry, you won't be happy because all that YOU are attaining is UNHAPPINESS and worry for yourself. Everyone should be as HAPPY as they can be.

My favorite quote from this WHOLE book was at the end and it made me tear up.

Dan said to Socrates:
~Some things and people are very difficult to love; it seems impossible to always feel Happy.

And Socrates said to Dan:
~Feelings change. Sometimes sorrow, sometimes joy. But beneath it all remember the innate perfection of your life unfolding. That is the secret to UNREASONABLE HAPPINESS.

So, with those words, this is the end. If you get a chance to read this book, please do so. It is great and you may take it differently then I have. I think it has everything to do with "Staying in the present. Its safer." :)

LoveLove.

Small summary

2009-02-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

So, I finished Breaking Dawn a few days ago and have started reading one of my new books. Breaking Dawn was an entertaining book and I am glad that I read all 4 of the Twilight books. I would suggest that if you haven't read them, well, you should. Get on it. They will keep you UN-BORED. LOL. The new book that I have started to read is The Way Of The Peaceful Warrior. I am on Book 2 Chapter 4. It is a great book so far and has made me think a little here and there about life, my mind wandering, and Socrates. LOL. You just have to read it. I will get more in depth about it once I finish it. I am on page 93 and this book is only 212 pages long. Hopefully I should be done sooner than later. :)

Las Vegas 2009

2009-01-26T14:56:00.000-08:00

I guess I can say that I am starting to have some New Years resolutions on my mind. I didnt start the New Years off with ANY, so here it is:

One would be to Blog more, about ANYTHING. I am finding it easier to talk about random things here and there and add pictures. I enjoy it. It's fun and it helps everyone get to know ME and where I live better. :) I guess I am becoming successful at that, as you can tell. LOL.

Another one would be to READ MORE. I have that down already. I am finishing Breaking Dawn and then have a plethora of books that are waiting in line to be open, held, and bookmarked. I also have The Monster Book Of Sudoku that has been on my desk forever, which I KNOW is not a READING book but it keeps me busy... I shall get to finishing that ONCE I learn how to conquer the Moderate, Demanding, and then BEWARE! Very Challenging. LOL. I'll get back to you on those.

My last one which I AM trying harder at is taking more pictures... whether it be of my friends when we are out with my SHITTY or NICE camera. This weekend I am going to buy some filters and a ring flash for my Canon. I will test it out and see what happens.

So, about my weekend. I went out to Dino's with my besties! Everyone was there. By the pictures you would only think that Cherice, Me, and Gen were there but I PROMISE, there were other bodies there as well. :) LOL. I sang "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera.. Yeah, not so... Um, beautiful? LOL. I also did "Killing Me Softly" By The Fugees. Good stuff.

These next pictures are from The Wynn Hotel and Casino. Louis and I went there one day to drop off a friend at work and then ended up walking around and hanging out. We just wanted to act like tourists. That didnt last long. We came across the waterfall outside and started snapping pictures of us in front of it. It ended there. We walked back to my car to get in and leave....but...

For ME, it was a hot day BUT FOR LOUIS, he thought it was a BIT chilly. SOOO, I gave him my jacket. He didnt like how it fit. I, however, thought he looked adorable. I got a few good chuckles. LOL.

On the way HOME from the Strip there was this cool strange building that the city is adding on to MORE buildings SOON to come. We were driving past it and I thought it was cool. I had Louis snap the picture as we were in the turning lane. It's over at the World Market Center? I believe thats the name. A HUGE furniture store. I don't know what THIS has to do with furniture? ....but here it is. :)

AND, FINALLY LAST but NOT LEAST, over the weekend, Louis and I babysat for his sister. She has the CUTEST baby I have ever seen. His name is Adam. I love him. He was so good ALL night. I played baseball with him, dorve his car, and he even sat in my lap for a few to watch some SpongeBob. I thought you might get a kick out of how adorable he is. :)

That's all I got for you guys now but more to come. I promise! :)

2 More books to add.

2009-01-23T11:19:00.001-08:00

It's Friday. I am TIRED as usual, and I am happy that the weekend is here! I have had my coffee for the morning, finished my weekly newsletter that I do, and I am calmly waiting for someone to call me up to the front to sit there and READ. So, I am up to page 554 in Breaking Dawn. I have EXACTLY 200 pages to go. It's getting better and I cannot put this book down. I haven't really been working, (I mean there isn't MUCH for me to do right now anyways), and I have just been reading, reading, reading. Since I am ALMOST done, I am excited about starting my other books as well. :) I have added 2 to my list and I wanted to share.

Digital Photography For Dummies - I saw this book at Target in the DOLLAR section. It's small, SIMPLE and seems to be easy to understand. I like easy. LOL. As most of you KNOW, I am however wanting to BE A PHOTOGRAPHER, so ANYTHING helps. :) It should tell me basically things that I already know, but then some.

Why Men Love Bitches - Why DO men love bitches? I don't know but I am going to find out. It's weird that us girls WANT the nice guy. The ones that open doors for us, buy us flowers for NO REASON at all, and make us giddy and blush with every look or touch.. BUT then we want ALL of that, PLUS we want them to act like COMPLETE assholes as well and keep US on our toes. Act like they care. We want the men that are confident and nice at the same time. The ones that DON'T take it TOO far but far enough. Maybe this book is the same but for MEN. I am sure most of you have read it so I am catching up with the times. It's been in my car FOR-EVEEER and I havent gotten around to even opening the first page. I am sure it goes on about how guys WANT a nice girl they can take home to MOMMY, but also the girl thats going to be a comeplete and UTTER BITCH, to make their lives more interesting. To keep THEM on their toes. To fight with them and to stand up for themselves when NEEDED. Guys want the same things that girls want. A confident woman, but not TOO confident. A girl thats going to make them feel butterflies and giddy just like they make us. I don't know. I am going to read it and see if my THEORY is right. LOL. Ill get back to you.

Photography from MY eye.

2009-01-20T09:16:00.000-08:00

I went to San Diego in November with my boyfriend Louis. We went to the beach and took some pictures. I just have a few that I would like to share. Not MANY but a few. I think that I did a good job at capturing the waves, sunset, and especially SHAMU! I put this first picture in another BLOG, but thats ok. :) Enjoy.

This was honestly one of my favorite pictures from the trip! I couldn't keep my camera out too long because we were in the SOAK ZONE!

The rest of these are just from the beach. We had an amazing time there and we cannot wait to go back!

Sometimes getting out of Las Vegas is magical. I wish I could surf and live at the beach. I'd be a lot more tan.

PhotoBlogs.

2009-01-17T12:35:00.001-08:00

This is a just a short blog today. No pictures. Nothing special. Just that I was looking around on different photoblogs and these photographers are amazing. I want to be JUST as amazing. I WILL be JUST as amazing one day. I need to travel more and get the hell out of Vegas so I can take better pictures. More scenery, more beauty. How many times can you photograph the strip full of LAME tourists and drunk bums? Or the desert? It gets old. I need new surroundings. New material. Ill do what I can for now. BUT SOMEDAY, it's gonna be me taking over the world. LOL.

Inspirational.

2009-01-15T10:12:00.001-08:00

I want to read more Inspirational books. More Non-Fiction books that will have SOME sort of impact on my life. To make me change. To make me a better person. To make me apprecaite life more. Not that I don't already but I want to make the best of life and start living more. Doing more spontaneous things, taking more pictures, and doing whatever the hell I want, without someone getting mad, getting irritated, or getting annoyed.

I have a few books that I plan on reading right AFTER, I get done with the 4th and FINAL book of the seris "Twilight". I like it, it's a good seris and I would recommend it to anyone. I am not a Fiction Book reader usually BUT I must say, these books are entertaining and I enjoy them. I have on my list as of now:

1. The Peaceful Warrior - Louis gave it to me and said that it is a great book and I should read it. It says on the cover that it changes life. I want that, SO I shall read and see if it does INFACT, change my life.

2. The Alchemist - I want to read this because I went to a photography seminar with the one and only, Matthew Jordan Smith. He was VERY inspirational to me and he gave everyone a list of 3 books that we should read and a shit load of notes on how to be a better photographer. I am starting with this one. Ill let you know how it turns out.

3. Eat, Pray, Love - I lent it to my mom and I am planning on getting it back and finishing it. This is also ANOTHER book that I have heard was very good and is a MUST READ.

4. Don't Sweat The Samll Stuff - This is another one that Louis had and let me borrow. I want to read about the little things that people get upset about and make people crazy. I know that there are times when I SWEAT the small stuff and I KNOW that I shouldn't. So, I am going to read it and try not to sweat AS MUCH. LOL.

5. Tuesday with Morrie - I have a little clue of what this is about but, it looks interesting, so read it, I shall.

6. A book about Buddah - I don't know what made me buy this one BUT I wanted something that I wouldnt usually read. I am not a reigious person nor do I go to church. Sometimes I don't even think that I believe in this so called "God" in the sky. It just seems weird that there is SO many different organized religions and they are ALL the right ones to follow. I don't know, maybe I just need to be more open-minded about things and read as much as I can. I like to be edjumacated. LOL.

I also read a book last year called "what Happy Woman Want". I took LOTS of notes and even hung most of them up in my OLD cube. It was a good read. So, if anyone wants a good book to read, that one is FOR SURE.

So read, read, read. I have SO much spare time lately at work that, thats ALL I want to do BESIDES take a photo journal of my everyday life. It's fun. Gives me something to do each day. So, I am going to start on Breaking Dawn again. 748 pages in this book and I am on page, 131. Yikes.

80's Prom Party.

2009-01-12T10:02:00.000-08:00

So, most of you know, Cherice's 80's Prom Party was on Saturday night. She was the Prom Queen of 1982. It was AWESOME. We all got dressed up, went to The Spazmatics at The Southpoint, (which is a band that does nothing but covers of 80's songs) and had WAY too much fun! There was drinking, dancing, and lots of spazing, I guess you can say. So enjoy the pictures!

We started at Cherice's house getting ready, putting on our corsage's and heading out for the best 80's night EVER! I love my Tripod!

I love my AMAZING BOYFRIEND!

The SNOB of the NIGHT. LOL

After we left Cherice's house we got to the Southpoint and danced, danced, danced! Gotta love the crazy girls/guys I hang out with!

We ended the night at our favorite Karaoke Bar! Dino's, where Cherice and Robby did a SWEET rendition of "Shoop" by Salt-N-Pepa!

Then we had Kisha and Britta do "I Think We're Alone Now! They werent ALONE though. Cherice and I danced while they sang!

Good Times! I had an amzing time with all my peeps. Louis, my one and only LOVE, Cherice and Marte, my TRIPOD FO EVA! Tammie, Gen, Christine, and Jessica the biggest WHORES I KNOW, Robby, Flock of Seagulls, James the C-O-O-O-O-L-L-L-L Rider, and of course the girls that are out sidekicks! LOL. Kisha, Britta, Janeth, Natalie and Jill! Thanks for making it a good night. :)

HARD WORK, but someone has to do it....

2009-01-09T09:11:00.000-08:00

So, my best friends all put money together and bought me an IPOD for my 25th birthday! They even got my FAVORITE color AND it's engraved with Happy Birthday Magnificent! You can kind of see it in the pictures. Now I am addicted, thanks to my boyfriend's brother who put almost 800 songs on it. I listen to it when I am working, when I go to the bathroom, in my car, and even sometimes when I am the phone. I just turn it down. Hey... I can multitask. LOL.

Now, I dont know if all of you KNOW, but I have a 9-5 job at The University Of Phoenix. This is what my cube looks like. I know, I know, SO many pictures and thats not even half of the ones I still have sitting in a drawer! They have moved me for the UMPTEENTH time and so sometimes I get scared to really call this cube "HOME" for the simple fact that they move me to GUAM sometime soon... Plus, it's hard to hang them all up when you can't use TACKS! Damn cube clips. They suck. These are pictures of the ones I love, consider my BEST FRIENDS, and of course my FAMILY. :) Ill add more pictures sooner than later.

After listening to my AMAZING IPOD all day and working SO HARD, LOL, sometimes this sweet Diabetic needs a nap...

2009-01-08T17:39:00.001-08:00

Farley. The Love of My Life, well besides Louis. :)

Lola. His long lost sister. :)

Manny! Silly, HUGE LAP DOG! Or so he thinks!

I hope I did this right!